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一个艾滋患者的忏悔录：改过自新才能赢得尊重
2009年03月25日17:05
来源：湖南电视台-etv《法制周报》 作者：朱春先
胡永强的生活态度，在半个月内发生了一个彻底性的转折。他开始对他周围的人变得关心起来，看人的眼神也充满和善。
他是一个艾滋病患者。2005年，他因为注射毒品，患上了艾滋病，之后，开始厌世，对任何人和任何事都漠不关心，在他的眼中，一切都是灰色的。
在现实中，他是一个多余者的角色，在周围人的眼中，他甚至是一个作恶多端者。
他做过很多坏事，但本报《艾滋少女万里追凶》报道成为了他的人生转折点。看完陈桃和黎苗的感人事迹（详见本报近期报道）后，他决定做两件事，一是要彻底反省和忏悔自己的不堪人生，用自己惨痛的教训警醒世人，远离毒品；另一个是，他要将自己四年来抗击艾滋病的点滴收获，作为经验介绍给两名受害者，让她们鼓起勇气共同面对未来的人生。
3月15日，在益阳市某茶楼，34岁的胡永强向《法制周报》记者亲述自己艾滋故事和灰色人生。
自揭伤疤
“除了杀人和做鸡头外，几乎所有的坏事我都做过，贩毒、诈骗、偷摩托车，为此，我先后两次被劳教。”
3月15日，胡永强联系《法制周报》，希望能与本报推出的《艾滋少女万里追凶》（以下简称《追凶》）的当事人取得联系，将自己多年来抗击艾滋病的一些经验介绍给两名受害女青年。随后，本报记者与他进一步的交流中，一个渴望与社会进行深切交流并一心向善的艾滋青年形象，浮出水面。
胡永强1975年出生在湖南桃江县桃花江镇一个木材商人家，家境殷实，父亲也是第一个在县城盖私房的人。少年时期的他享受了很多同龄孩子无法享受到的衣食之欢，但这种幸福感很快就随着父母的离异而消失。1992年，胡永强从益阳财税学校毕业，这一年，一直争吵不断的父母离婚。家庭的突然破裂，让一直衣食无忧的胡永强无所适从。
开始两年，他与父亲的一位朋友一起在广州开招待所，之后回到桃江县城某瓷厂上班。微薄的收入与大手大脚的消费习惯构成强烈反差，一年后，胡永强开始混迹社会，成天与认识或不认识的哥们一起喝酒滋事。
2003年，因为吸毒，胡永强被当地公安机关劳教。两年后的2005年，胡再次进入劳教所。
“除了杀人和做鸡头外，几乎所有的坏事我都做过，贩毒、诈骗、偷摩托车……”，胡永强告诉《法制周报》记者，父母离婚以后，他成了监狱里的常客，直到有一天发现得了艾滋病，才有所收敛。
在胡永强的人生履历中，有十多年沉浸在吸贩毒的泥淖之中。为了筹集毒资，他先是到街上去偷别人的摩托车，然后低价卖掉，但这种收入来得太慢，一帮人又开始纠结在一起诈骗开私家车的“有钱人”。
“我们中，先安排一个人拿一个名酒瓶子，站在街上，看到车子来后，故意手一松掉到地上”。胡永强说，酒瓶里头有时候装的是假酒，或廉价酒，甚至直接装入自来水，但一旦掉到地上以后，酒瓶里的水便变成五粮液或者茅台酒，驾车人必须照价赔偿。
这在当地被称为“碰碰胡”，往往四五个社会青年一起肇事，没有一个车主敢不赔钱的。这样做一次，至少可以弄到四五百元，多的有七八百。
“桃江街上，有时候会有一些人，以玩花牌的形式骗别人的钱，每当这个时候，我们会站在远一点的地方盯着，一旦他们得手，我们就会上去，以受害者亲戚的身份，叫他们把钱给我们。”
几个人合伙坑一个人，是胡永强搞钱的常用手段。“有时候，我们会邀上一个有钱的熟人或朋友一起打牌，但桌上的另外三个人暗中打配合，吃对方一个，赚到钱后，三个人平分。”
此外，胡永强还帮别人收过烂账，收到钱后，事主往往只能得到五成甚至更低，而大部分则由收账者所有。
染上艾滋病
“每一个吸毒的人，都可能会有贩毒的历史，这样才能供得起自己吸毒。2005年第二次从劳教所回来后，便开始注射毒品，就在这几次的危险行为中，艾滋病已经染上了我的身。”
惹上毒瘾以后，胡永强一天的花费，至少要七百元，一个月下来，要两万多元。(法制周报新闻热线:0731-4802117)尽管因为他吸毒的缘故，父母在步入老年后重新住到了一起，但家庭的收入也早已今非昔比，根本无法满足他的吸毒需要。除了妹妹常给母亲寄点钱外，早已失业的父亲只能依靠亲友接济，而胡永强每个月不足200元的低保金，还不够他吸一次白粉。
以贩养吸便成为胡永强唯一的选择。
胡永强告诉记者，每一个吸毒的人，都可能会有贩毒的历史，“如果不那样，我估计没有几个家庭，能够供得起一个吸毒者”。当问到怎么样才能找到毒源时，胡永强坦言，只要你吸毒，你就能找到毒品。
“在劳教所时，我认识了很多毒友。”胡永强说，出来后，就找这些毒友拿货，一开始拿整的，并少量卖给那些吸毒的朋友。毒友们还经常聚在一起交流，比哪些地方的货更便宜。
由于贩毒，胡永强多次被公安机关抓获，和他一起吸贩毒的“兄弟”也多次被劳教。但每次从劳教所出来后，要不了多久，胡永强又会故伎重演，陷入到吸毒的深渊中。2005年从劳教所出来后，一个不祥的阴影爬上了胡永强的身上。
这一次，胡永强的毒瘾比进入劳教所时更大了。传统的吸毒方式，已经远远不能满足他的毒瘾，他第一次尝试使用注射器注射毒品。要命的是，他使用的注射器，是别人刚刚用过的，而这其中，就有已经患上艾滋病的毒友。
“我清楚地知道，这样的高危行为，只要一次就足够了，而我有过好几次的高危行为。”胡永强说，他当时并不知道朋友当中，已经有人患上了艾滋病。几个星期后，他看到朋友们都去疾控中心检测，他也去了。检测结果出来以后，他无法相信眼前的事实，不停地痛骂自己，“但这个时候，一切都已经晚了。”
向善的忏悔录
“自作孽，不可活，我奉劝天下所有的人，不要贪图一时的快感。要知道，快感过后来的马上是痛苦。”
2005年被检测出感染了艾滋病毒后，胡永强失去了对生命的全部希望，每天过着浑浑噩噩的日子，等待最后时刻的到来。他这样描述着自己一天的生活：上午11时左右，睁开眼的第一天件事情，就是找针管，摸索着给自己打上一针，然后躺在床上继续休息。如果实在饿了，就随便找点东西吃。
“那段时间，我根本就没有正正经经吃过一顿饭。”胡永强说，一睁开眼睛，脑子里全部是白粉，什么东西也吃不进，也不想动，除了非起床不可的情况，一般情况下，一天都不会下床。饿得实在难受时，又打一针接着睡，到了晚上十一二点钟时，再打一针后睡觉。有时几天都不会出一次门。
按照我当时的毒瘾，每天至少要打七针，每针100元，一天就需要消耗700元。(法制周报新闻热线:0731-4802117)这些毒资，基本上都是贩毒赚来的差价，也有一部分是骗亲戚朋友的。“我的父母、叔叔、姑姑，都骗过，主要是借钱不还，少说也有三四万元。”
“现在想起来，我最对不起的，就是他们了”，胡永强眼角冒出湿润的泪花，动情地说，我一个人吸毒，把整个家都毁了。“我今天找你们来诉说这些事情，就是想借此向他们表达歉意，也向全社会坦陈我的忏悔。”
“如果不是看了你们的《追凶》报道，我还没有勇气站出来说这些。”胡永强说，虽然内心一直存有忏悔之意，但毕竟犯过太多错误，有愧于社会，看到了陈桃和黎苗两人的事迹之后，这一切顾虑都已经不重要了，因此决定站出来，不仅反省自己，更想提醒世人，千万不要重蹈自己的覆辙。
“在这里，我通过贵报向有过我类似经历的青年，提出几点忠告。”胡永强将这三点忠告称为一个艾滋病患者的忏悔录：一是千万不要相信你身边“最好”的朋友，他们往往会将你拖入万劫不复的泥潭；二是坚决不要贪图所谓的快感，因为，快感来临之后接下来的马上是无穷无尽的痛苦；三是做人一定要规规矩矩，不要相信一夜成名。
本报记者将胡永强的鼓励转达给万里追凶艾滋少女陈桃、黎苗，电话中，遭受磨难的两位勇敢女孩不约而同地说，“只有我们一起自强，才会赢得社会的尊重”。她们将与胡永强长期保持联系，共同勇敢面对未来的人生。（为保护当事人隐私，胡永强为化名）
记者手记
让我们看到向善的良知
做完这一期，《艾滋少女万里追凶》大型新闻纪实报道已全部完结，对于陈桃和黎苗两人提出的刑事附带民事诉讼的结果，我们将会随时跟进报道，以感谢广大读者朋友对这两位勇敢的弱女子的持续关注。
艾滋病已经不再是离我们生活遥不可及的魔障。它的阴影，随时游荡在我们的生活周围，只有洁身自好的人，才能远离这种魔障。人们都知道，艾滋病的传播途径只有三种，一种是通过体液交流的性传播，一种是通过血液传播的途径，还有一种是通过乳汁传播的途径。陈桃和黎苗是前者的样本，她们是完全的受害者，在这场个体灾难面前，作孽者将受到法律的惩罚，但留给新闻当事人的却将是终生无法得到补偿的灾难，除了对作恶者的谴责外，我们更多的，应该是对受害者掬一捧同情之泪。
胡永强的罹病，从某种意义上来说，是咎由自取。但在深彻痛悔之中，我们同样看到了他向善的良知。
Confessions of a HIV patient: turn over a new leaf in order to win respect
At 17:05 on March 25, 2009
Source: Hunan TV-etv "legal weekly" Authors: Zhu Xian
胡永强attitude towards life happened within half a month at a turning point thoroughness. Start him on the people around him have become concerned about, and man's eyes also filled with good.
He is an AIDS. In 2005, he was injecting drugs, suffering from AIDS, after the world-weary start for any and all indifferent to anything, in his eyes, everything is gray.
In reality, he is a redundant role, in the eyes of people around, he even is a person to all kinds of evil.
He has done a lot of bad things, but this newspaper, "Miles teenage HIV Season" report has become a turning point in his life. Chen Tao and Li read the touching stories of Miller (see the recent newspaper reports), he decided to do two things, first, want a thorough self-examination and repentance over their own life, a painful lesson in their own alert the world to stay away from drugs ; another is that he himself four years to the fight against AIDS点滴harvest, as the experience of introduction to two of the victims to enable them face the future with courage and common life.
March 15, at a restaurant in Yiyang City, 34-year-old胡永强to the "rule of law Weekly" reporter pro-references the story of their own HIV and gray in life.
Since the scab
"In addition to murder and head to do things, almost all the bad things I have done, drug trafficking, fraud, stealing motorcycles, and to this end, I have twice been re-education."
March 15,胡永强contact "rule of law weekly", would like to work with this newspaper launched the "HIV girls Wanli Season" (hereinafter referred to as "Season") the parties to get in touch, will own a number of years experience in the fight against AIDS to the introduction Two young female victims. Subsequently, our reporter further communicate with him, a deep desire to communicate with the community and young people living with one for good image of the surface.
胡永强was born in Hunan in 1975 Peach County Town Taojiang a timber business family, his family well off, his father was also the first county cap at the private person. Adolescence, he enjoyed a lot of the same age, children can not enjoy the food and clothing of Huan, but this happiness soon as divorced parents disappear. In 1992,胡永强from taxation Yiyang School graduate, this year has been the divorce of their parents constant bickering. The sudden breakdown of the family, so that has been enough to live comfortably at a loss of胡永强.
Beginning two years, he and his father together with a friend at Canton opened guest house, followed by a return to Taojiang county porcelain work. Meager income and lavish consumption habits constitute a strong contrast, one year after the start胡永强occupy society, all day and recognize or do not know trouble drinking buddies with.
In 2003, because of drug abuse,胡永强detention by the local public security organs. Two years later in 2005, Hu to re-enter the facility.
"In addition to murder and head to do things, almost all the bad things I have done, drug trafficking, fraud, stealing a motorcycle ... ..."胡永强tell "rule of law weekly" Reporter, parents divorce, he became a frequent visitor to the prison, Then one day AIDS had found only the convergence.
At the curriculum vitae胡永强life, there is more than a decade immersed in the morass of drug use and drug trafficking. In order to raise drug money, he first street steal someone else's motorcycle, then a low price to sell, but the income is too slow, gangs began to open fraud tangled private car "rich."
"We, the first arrangement of a person carrying a wine bottle, standing street car to see after the intentional hand fell to the ground one song."胡永强that sometimes fitted inside the bottle are fake, or cheap wine, or even directly into the water, but once fell to the ground, the bottle of water or it will become Wuliangye Maotai, people must drive according to price compensation .
This locally known as "bumper HU", often together 45 young society of the incident, none of the owners dare not lose money. To do so once, at least get四五百million, has many of the七八百.
"Taojiang streets, and sometimes there will be some people to play the form of licensing flower deceive other people's money, whenever this time, we will stand in the place staring at a little further, and when they succeed, we will go to victims From the identity of relatives, ask them to give us the money. "
Hang a partner of some people who are a common means of胡永强搞钱. "Sometimes, we will invite last wealthy acquaintances or friends playing cards, but the table the other three individuals secretly playing with each other to eat one, earn money, the three individuals equally."
In addition,帮别人胡永强also received bad accounts, the money is received, the victim often can only get到五成even lower, and most of all by the accounts receivable were.
Infected with AIDS
"Every drug people are likely to be the history of drug trafficking in order to afford for their own drug. The second time in 2005 after coming back from the camp, they begin injecting drug users, on the dangers of these acts, AIDS have been infected with my body. "
Get involved in drug addiction, the胡永强day to spend at least 700 yuan a month down to more than 20,000 yuan. (Weekly legal news hotline :0731-4802117) because even though his drug addiction because of their parents at old age after living together, but family income has long been much higher, it simply can not meet the needs of his drug addiction. Apart from her sister often send money to the mother, the already unemployed father can only rely on relatives and friends either, but less than 200 yuan per month胡永强the minimum payment, but also not enough suction him a white powder.
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